Ask Jodie - My husband asked me for a divorce......

Ask Jodie - My husband asked me for a divorce......

We have tasked Case Manager Jodie with answering your queries relating to your relationship and family concerns.

Dear Jodie,
My husband asked me for a divorce just over 18 months ago, as I’m a bit of the old school, I refused. We have two kids together and when I took my vows, I strongly believe in staying together for better or for worse. However since this time his behaviour has started to change. We now sleep in separate bedrooms and he is constantly working late or taking ‘business trips’ at weekends. I want to make this work, but I can’t shake the feeling that some things not right. What should I do?

Dear Susan,

A dramatic shift in personality or behaviour is usually a sign that something has changed in the person’s mind or their lifestyle.

Is he picking fights with you, seemingly over nothing?

Has he been more secretive with his mobile phone of recent?

What was his reasoning for wanting a divorce? Whatever the reason may be, it sounds as though your husband has decided that he is going to get on with his life with or without you. And what of your life? Don’t let it be an afterthought amidst relationship problems.

It is completely possible that he isn’t being totally honest and at this stage it doesn’t sound like he’s making a lot of effort with you. Take some time to think about what you want from this marriage. Are your expectations being met now? Does the relationship have a future if it continues down the same path?

My thoughts would be to start thinking about the wellbeing of yourself and your kids. Go on holiday; take a little break from your husband. Visit family; spend a weekend with the kids. A bit of time out of the house to think about what is important. Is continuing as a two point four family worth it if you and your husband aren’t happy?

Communicate with your husband with an aim to discuss what page you’re both on. If he shows no willingness to improve the relationship and your concerns continue to grow regarding his mind set we could look to offer you a polygraph test, vehicle tracking and/or surveillance. Each option aims to help set your mind at ease or to find evidence of anything untoward.

Most importantly put yourself first for once. Take some time for your needs. Relaxation and a bit of time for head space - I think you will find it refreshing.


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